Hold It Lightly

There was a time when curls blew brown about

A wee lassie’s face, shy, pug nose

Eyes brown and lit with an amber light

Not trying for much, just "to be" was enough

She grew, played free, then entered a different world

And chose not from her own depths, but

Those imposed by others, obligation, guilt

Simple ways of the forest lost for something phony

And not at all grand by any means.

She’d delighted in watching the tiny animals

Scurrying on the forest floor

Knew how to hold them lightly, just enough

To smell the sweet, sweet breath of life

And no more, no more was needed.

 Then a perceived lack invaded and

Happiness was a vapour from the past

Forgotten, unheeded, shoved aside for she

Made the mistake of worrying about what

Someone else thought of her.

Lost were things she held dear

The candlestick of Indian craft, the camera

Pictures that showed the best of her, a

Warm, dark rose, striped sweater,

Mary Jane slippers and someone else took

The old, worn, family pictures home.

She sat in meditation on top Old Baldy and

Let the warm, summer rain slide soundlessly down

Brown, smooth, tanned legs, curved in sensuous

Pleasure as the dear, old faces smiled down

Cherishing her, their great grand-daughter

She could see them in her inner mind, a faint drumming far off

And yet close, all at the same time… love was there.

 Lost were the kisses from her man, the love gone

The hurt big, then another and his mama made her

No one in his eyes, no one in his life, he was weak.

Would there ever be anything else but loss?

Then a flight across the ocean showed her

The old and famous lands, dear in her heart

For ancestors had roamed there, but again

His weakness took what was rightfully hers

And no amount of hiking in the German forest

No amount of lovemaking, nothing…could give her back

What she deserved.

And so I hold it lightly now, again striving

For that first inborn knowledge where a

Tiny hand holds more than all the purses in China.

The memories stay and the hope for the future

Comes again, and then again, renewal promised

In the shadows of her brown and tender eyes.

I walk along the wooden verandas and

Softly push the porch swing, but

 I hold it lightly now, I hold it lightly.

cailin raine